As fathers, we want to spend as much quality time with our families as possible for more reasons than one. Fathers have often been generalized as being away, disconnected, unsupportive, and many other terms, some of them rightfully so.
Others genuinely want to spend more time with the kids but can’t due to working over the road or in another state and even country. So what do dads who travel for work do to make up for their physical absence? Also, how do they deal with the hurt they also feel?
A World Bank Group(WBG) study concluded that “long and regular travel, as well as variations in date of travel that disrupt family plans, are all features that adversely impact numerous wives and kids (tiny kids).
The stress on family members makes a significant contribution to the strain workers feel regarding their trips.
Regulations or management practices which take family events into account and give employees more wiggle room in managing and rejecting trips might also reduce stress and anxiety.”
Before You Leave
Tell your children about the trip only a few days ahead of time. Psychologists advise against informing young children of your departure date too far in advance because it may cause them undue anxiety
There’s a chance they’ll think about it all week and get worked up about it. For older children, you can tell them whenever you want.
Explain in simple words how long you’ll be away. If your toddler still doesn’t understand the days of the week, telling them you’ll be back Saturday won’t work. What you can do is tell them how many times they’ll sleep and wake up before you get back.
With your children, research your destination. Would you please make the most of your upcoming business trip by spending quality time with your children and teaching them something new?
Get on the computer and do some research on your destination: show them where it is on a map, how far it is from your house, what the weather is like there, and where famous landmarks are.
Allow Your Children To Assist You In Packing
Allowing your children to assist you in packing is another way to connect with them before you leave. You can ask them questions like, “What should I bring to New York?”
“How many shirts do I require?” Allow them to put items in your bag and use this as an opportunity to teach them how to pack a suitcase properly.
Make a few notes and place them around the house. Before you leave, jot down a few short notes and leave them around the house for your children to find while you’re gone.
Would you please put them in their lunch bags or under their pillows? In exchange, Mom may encourage them to leave notes for you in your luggage, etc.
While You’re Traveling
Video chat once a day at a predetermined time. Staying in touch with your children while on the road has never been easier, thanks to technological advances. Because it’s so simple, many fathers on the road may feel tempted to check infrequently. Refrain from doing so.
Regular phone conversations or facetime may interfere with the typical family timetable at home. Set a specific check-in period with your partner to do a family video pow-wow instead.
A great opportunity arises when the children begin cooling down for sleep; there isn’t much happening on, and it isn’t so near to their bedtime that you run the risk of having them pumped up right before lights out.
What should you discuss during the video chat?
Rather than the standard “How was your day?” Pose direct questions to your children, such as:
“Can you tell me what you had for lunch?”
“Can you tell me about the weirdest event that took place for you today?”
“What did you enjoy the most about today?”
“Can you tell me about something wonderful that somebody did for you today?”
“How did you spend your time after school?”
If your kids are teenagers completing assignments, ask them about it and if they require any assistance. Perhaps you could collaborate on a complex word problem via Skype.
Maintaining a family sleep schedule is something to consider. Even though Dad is away, several families with kids will uphold family bedtimes. He’ll use video conferencing to read a story, sing a song, or say a prayer before his children go to bed.
As for myself, I discover doing these things over the online ether strange and clumsy; I believe that, just as we don’t try and give one another hug over Video chat, life’s more personal moments must be reserved for face-to-face human connection. However, if it appeals to your household, go with it!
Text Message Photos are a Great Way to Document Your Trip
While you should strive for one video chat per day with your children, don’t be afraid to check in more frequently via text messaging. Send photos of your trip to your wife to show your children.
Know What Your Children Are Obsessed With and Try to Send Photos of it to Them
They will feel like they’re a part of your trip and that you’re thinking about them. If you’re able to get memorabilia of their favorite item without breaking the bank, that’s even better.
A fun thing to do is take photos of yourself and make a collage with old pictures of the kids looking like they’re with you. It will blow their minds!
Send A Postcard to Them
Consider sending your kids a postcard if you’ll be gone for more than a few days. Snail mail is a favorite pastime among children. Children adore it when it comes from their amazing father, who is traveling for business.
When You’re Returning
Children are always looking forward to seeing you return, but you can sweeten the experience with an affordable gift.
Carry an Inexpensive Gift With You
Handing an inexpensive gift to your minor children could be an enjoyable corporate travel ritual. Think about how you felt as a kid when you got a surprise gift!
There’s no need to overdo it with this. Small and inexpensive items such as badges, collectible cards, pens, miniature toys, and many other things will do.
Honor Your Family’s Pattern
If you’re gone frequently or for longer durations, your family has most likely developed a routine that doesn’t include you. Acknowledge the home schedule. You shouldn’t request them to halt everything just because you’ve returned home.
As quickly as you return home from your overnight trip, get back into the home routine. Bring the children to sports activities, buy groceries, and do household tasks. Start making your re-entry into the family as smooth and easy as conceivable.
The Bottom Line
For dads who travel for work, if going away is unavoidable, look for ways to involve the family that won’t affect your schedule or theirs. Children want to know that you’re in touch and haven’t forgotten about them, and you don’t want to have them drift away either.
Individually restore interaction with the children. While you will do your utmost to reintegrate yourself into the family system regimen, search for ways to reinstate separate connections with every child.
It might be as simple as accompanying them on an assignment and trying to keep up with them in the vehicle. Play with the children if they’re young or go on excursions, have conversations if they are older.
