“Until death do us part.” That’s supposed to mean staying married until one or both die. In modern times, that isn’t always the case. Sometimes, marriage ends way before it gets to that point. There are many reasons why this happens. Infidelity, you and your spouse change, the environment changes, or you just fall out of love.
There are even times when a marriage just turns toxic. Sometimes a marriage can be saved and sometimes, it’s just not worth it in the end. You can only sit back and watch your marriage falling apart. But how did you know your marriage was over? What are the signs that your marriage is falling apart? How do you know that you are on your way to divorce? Here are seven signs that you are bound for divorce.
You Don’t Spend Much Time Together Anymore (Or You Don’t Want to)
Okay, there are times when you can’t spend time together. Sometimes, work takes up time at home. There is the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But what happens when you don’t want to spend time with each other anymore? At the beginning of marriage, you want nothing more than to spend time with each other.
No one can seem to tear the two of you apart. But now, you would rather spend time at the DMV than be in the same room with your spouse. Take a step back and look at the amount of time you spent with them and ask yourself a couple of questions.
Are you using work, family, or your friends as an excuse not to go home? Do you wish that you could be anywhere else but with your spouse? Are you rushing to try and end a meal that you are eating together? Are you using things like TV, the internet, or even books to distract from even talking to each other? If you answered yes to any of these, then you might want to seek help.
There is No Respect Between You
There is a quote from the 1980 movie Airplane that goes, “It takes so many things to make love last, but most of all it takes respect. And I can’t live with a man I don’t respect.” Respect is the key to all relationships in general. How do you spot a marriage falling apart?
A spouse will put down the other in a hurtful way whether they are in the room or not. Do you tell them no to a decision and they try and push for a reason why? Do they make fun of you in a harmful way when you talk about your dreams and goals? Does your spouse give you the silent treatment or tune you out when you try to talk to them?
Another way is where one spouse will sit on the other’s beliefs and values and openly mock them. Sure, you are allowed to have different opinions, values, and beliefs from each other, just as long as you respect each other.
If you don’t respect each other, it can lead to something toxic in your marriage. Behavior like this could be a precursor to an abusive marriage. If it comes down to that, get out of there as soon as you can.
You Don’t Trust Each Other Anymore
Trust is another key to a solid relationship. You can’t have a sound marriage without trust. Do you feel like you have to ask your spouse questions after every phone call or text? Do you have to spy on them every time they go out?
Are you snooping around in their things while they are in the shower? How often do you think they are unfaithful? What about the flip side? Do you suspect that your spouse is spying on you? If you can’t trust each other, there is something really wrong with your marriage? You might have to get out of there and fast.
You Don’t Like Each Other
This goes all the way back to the first sign. On a scale of one to ten, how much do you really like your spouse? If you are in the lower range, then what is the point of staying married? You can’t ignore their flaws anymore.
In the beginning, you might have found them cute and enduring. Now, you just want to slam their head through a wall if they smack their gum one more time. Do you want to run out of the room every time your spouse walks in? You dream about wanting to be married to other people.
Have you stopped trying to pretend that you still like each other in public? Are you always talking badly about each other to your friends and family? Do you do nothing but argue all of the time? In order for a marriage to work, you have to stand each other for more than ten minutes. If you can’t do that, why waste your time making your marriage work?
You Stop Having Sex
When was the last time that you had sex? Before you start jumping to conclusions, think about the different factors about what is going on. The lack of sex in a marriage doesn’t always mean that you are witnessing a marriage falling apart.
Sometimes, you don’t have the time or you just don’t feel well. It is natural for sex to change over time in a marriage. There are many factors that can cause sex to change. Maybe kids have entered the picture. Studies have shown that sexual desire in women decreases more than in men.
Maybe there are health problems involved. But what if the very thought of sex with your spouse makes your stomach? Are you just not interested at all? Do you feel the need to have your sexual needs satisfied elsewhere? There might be some problems afoot.
Your Spouse Isn’t in Your Future Plans
Try to picture yourself in five years. What does your future look like? Can you see your spouse in it? If the answer is no, you might want to take a hard look at your marriage. It is okay to have dreams. When you get married, your spouse has to fit in with your plans.
The same goes for you in their plans. Sometimes, couples will get divorced after their last kid grows up and moves out. To them, they see that as time served. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to stay married if you aren’t in each other’s future plans.
Every Time You Think of Them, You Get Angry
What is the first emotion that comes to mind when you think about your spouse? Do you feel like wanting to punch them in the face just at the mere thought of them? Anger is a natural emotion. It is normal to get mad at your spouse from time to time.
It is not okay for you to get mad at each other all the time. Your nights should not erupt into fighting. Sure, there could be some factors inside and outside of the marriage that could be causing this anger. But it shouldn’t be going on for days and days.
What do you do when your marriage is falling apart
Sometimes, a marriage can be saved before it’s too late. The key is that you have to want to put in the work to do it. Is there still love there that is worth saving the marriage as a whole? The good news is, that there is a way to try and salvage your marriage.
Counseling can help with looking for anything wrong in a marriage. You might need someone from the outside to take a look and try to help you out. If that doesn’t help, you might have to look at calling it quits. However, you still might not want to come to this point.
Is separation good for a marriage
Should you start thinking about separation? The counseling could have failed and you don’t see any other way out. But you just don’t want to get a divorce yet. You are still holding out hope for your marriage to be saved by some miracle. That will depend on how bad everything is.
Sometimes, you just need time apart from each other. It could help you find who you are and sort of what you want. You or your spouse could stay with someone that you trust to help you sort things out. And if separation doesn’t work, it’s time to look at getting a divorce.
Sit down with your spouse and figure out what to do next from there. Sometimes, there are some marriages that just aren’t worth saving. You and your spouse deserve better.
That goes doubly so if the marriage has turned toxic. You and your spouse need to get out before you end up doing damage to their and your mental health. There are times when ending a marriage will be better for both of you.
How do you fix a marriage that is falling apart
Just like anything else in life, marriages go through ups and downs. And sometimes, marriages hit a rough patch and start to fall apart. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t despair! There are things you can do to fix a marriage that is falling apart.
First, take a step back and assess the situation. What are the problems that are causing your marriage to fall apart? Once you identify the problems, you can start working on finding solutions. It’s also important to communicate openly with your spouse about what is going on in your marriage. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings and needs.
Marriage is a partnership, so it’s important to work together to find solutions. Finally, don’t forget to make time for each other. Spend time together that is just for the two of you, without distractions. This will help you reconnect and build a stronger foundation for your marriage.
If you find yourself in a situation where your marriage is falling apart, don’t give up! There are things you can do to fix the problem and get your marriage back on track.
Conclusion
So, your marriage is falling apart. What do you do? The answer is different for every couple, but there are some general things to keep in mind. First and foremost, don’t make any rash decisions – give yourself and your spouse time to calm down and think things through.
Second, try to communicate openly with each other about what’s going on and what you both want from the relationship. Finally, if all else fails or if one or both of you decide that separation is the best option, seek professional help.
There are many qualified therapists out there who can help guide you through this difficult process. Hopefully these tips will help get your marriage back on track before it’s too late!
