It’s no secret that fathers have a profound influence on their son’s lives. They not only teach them skills, but they also shape the way in which their sons view the world. Fathers are often looked at as mentors to young boys and are seen as symbols of masculinity. So it is important for fathers to know how best to impart knowledge to their sons. Some argue that you should show your son what it means to be a man by teaching him skills like fishing or hunting while others say that an even more valuable lesson would be love, loyalty, and respect.
Lead by Example
I tried and tried to tell my son when he was doing the right or wrong thing. Now that he is 18 I realize that he has learned so much more from the things I did compare to the things I said. He can still in a mocking tone repeat just about everything I have ever told him but the things that really sunk in was not the things I yelled at him when he was in trouble.
Even more important than the things I did were when the things I said matched or didn’t match what I did. It’s funny how they have the saying “Do what I say and not what I do”. The thing about that saying is that it is false. If you find yourself saying it then realize you are teaching your kids to do what you do and to lie about what you should do.
Think about it, if you are getting fired all the time from not going to work and telling your kid to work hard to get ahead…well what are you really telling them. On the other hand, if you are telling your son how a man should put his family first in all things and then you actually do it, well now something may sink in.
What should I teach my son?
If you’re a father who wants to raise a man, you’ve got to start early and teach him everything he needs to know. But what is that exactly? That depends on the individual child and how your wife and you choose to raise him together. You must be an active participant in his upbringing or else it will never work out.
Here is my list of what was important to teach my son:
-Be a man of your word- No matter what you need to say what you mean and do what you say. Even when for example you make a plan and then something better or more exciting comes along you need to do what you said. This was hard for my son who was always worried about missing something.
-A Good Work Ethic will get you through life- This one was easier for me to teach my son. I just worked hard and when he wanted something I made sure to give him away to work for it. Over time he has learned working is a great way to get what you want and need.
-Your family comes first- When you are a man and husband you have to make sure you put your family first in all things. If you are selfish you will never have a happy family. On the other hand, if you make your family the most important thing then everything you do for them will make you happy.
-Do good to people and you will be blessed. I am a Christian so based on my own beliefs when you bless people you are blessed in return. If you are not a Christian and believe in just about any other religion or even science what you put out in the world is what you receive. So I tried to show my son to be kind to people, open a door, help an old person with anything, and be respectful. Even if there is no return because you don’t believe in religion being kind to people has its own rewards. Just seeing a person smile because you have helped them sometimes will brighten your day.
-Enjoy life because it comes to an end. Have you ever heard someone say something like I just want to go to bed and start over? Do you think they would do that if they knew the day it would end? You only have 300 days left, are you sure you want to just skip one and go back to sleep? So when you realize that life comes to an end and try to live each day that way it changes how you live. Instead of being down and out because this day didn’t go like you planned you will be trying to figure out how to make the next day great. You will live a life full of solutions and not build on worry. If you look back on the hard times they have passed, and you are still here. So don’t get too caught up in the moment and think this will never get better. It does!
Conclusion
A father should not only teach his son skills like hunting, fishing, and taking care of the house but also the importance of love, loyalty, and respect. Teaching your son what it means to be a man can be an invaluable lesson that he will carry with him for the rest of his life. So when you are looking for ways to be a great dad remember to do what you say and not try to tell them how to be something you are not.
The first step is to figure out what is important to you as a man. What have you learned as you grew up and what qualities do you think your son needs? These may not match up with my own but you really have to know your own list. Once you have your list figured out the key is to not only teach him with your words, but you have to show him by living your life in that way.
