Suppose you grew up in a strict household or a home where a kid must take on unusual responsibility for a child, as I did. In that case, you could certainly understand this saying. But, unfortunately, some parents feel it is a “get out of jail free card” for kids. However, I was fortunate to have a parent who looked at things differently. It helped to give me a unique perspective on the phrase.
I recall my mom at various times expressing displeasure in the way I acted or the choices I made as a child. But, in the end, she would say, “Sometimes I forget you’re just a kid.”
What does “kids will be kids mean?
I’ve often heard the saying, “kids will be kids.” I have heard that phrase quoted since I was a kid and have often used it myself to sit and think about it. It is a way of saying, “Don’t be surprised at a kid’s childish or immature behavior.” “Kids will be kids.”
How often have our wives come to us stating that they couldn’t get the children to stop arguing, and we answer, “Kids will be kids”?
When I was a child, that saying felt like validation and like someone finally understood me. However, it often makes me wonder if that phrase makes my kids feel the same way too.
Our expectations as parents
In our attempts to raise our children to be hardworking and responsible people, we can come down hard on them when they don’t display the characteristics that we want to see out of them.
For instance, I can’t reasonably expect my 3-year-old to clean her room as well as my 11- or 14-year-old. My 3-year-old has no actual attention span yet and loses focus quickly. Before she’s done with the task, she has made an even bigger mess than before. I must remember that kids will be kids and adjust my approach to getting her to act responsibly and complete tasks.
Cleaning for my 11-year-old is cruel and unusual punishment to her (It was for me too at 11). In fact, at that age, you want to do anything except what your parents want you to do.
Young adolescents are in a period of growth and transition and can become very moody. At that age, they start trying to look and act like someone much older. Many of them want to be involved in things they shouldn’t be in until they are much older and mentally and emotionally able to manage it. When we remember that “kids will be kids,” it will help us recognize that this is a phase and guide them forward with the love and support they need.
Our children will be the responsible people we desire them to be when we take time to understand them and give them room to grow. We can be firm but fair, setting expectations while also allowing them to be kids. We do the best we can, hoping they will become the great people we raise.
Growing up in challenging environments
I had to grow up quickly due to circumstances in the home. I was given responsibility but also burdened with issues children shouldn’t have to deal with. As parents, we would be thrilled if our kids were conscious of the cost of our electric bills, water bills (and how much water we used/wasted), or how much we spend on groceries each week.
The hard part is when children are in a position to worry about those bills and how they will be paid. I was under that stress as a child and vowed my children wouldn’t have that worry. I just want my kids to be kids first.
A teacher once asked her first-grade class what they would do if given $1000. Of course, many of her students stated that they would buy toys, cars, video games, bikes, skateboards, and ponies. However, one student gave the most surprising answer. He said he would give his mother money for rent and to buy groceries. This could be music to any parent’s ears that our 6-year-old could be conscious of the household needs. However, burdening them with the stresses of the household finances can be more than their little minds can handle. Kids just need to be kids.
Keeping the proper perspective about our kids
It could be scary to think about our children being the future leaders in this world, especially when we look at them through the lenses of where they are now.
For instance, could you imagine being pulled over by a police officer who was an adolescent child? The officer jokingly handcuffs you to the steering wheel and drives off, laughing!
I could envision going to the pharmacist and picking up my prescriptions only to get home and realize those aren’t my pills diabetes; they are jellybeans.
Lastly, let’s think of our children as the future through the lenses of who they are now one more time. We will probably have a President of the United States going through puberty. They would be in a mood where they didn’t want to be bothered.
Our child President would shut themselves in the Oval Office. At the same time, advisors and staff members pounded on the door, trying to get the President’s attention about troubling world matters. Our commander and chief wouldn’t hear them knocking because their music was turned up loud, they would be playing video games, or because they were on the phone with their boo. Furthermore, the President would declare a national state of emergency because of frizzy hair or a zit.
These scenarios could be viewed as hilarious. However, it is essential to note that we wouldn’t expect this behavior from our law enforcement, pharmacist, or President because we consider those positions mature, responsible adults. So, to keep the proper perspective about our children, we must remember that kids will do and say some silly things and often get on our nerves. But we still love them, and we realize that kids will be kids at the end of the day.
So, kids will be kids, now what…
- Try Understanding your child’s personality. Not every child is the same; parent accordingly.
- Listen to your child— really listen. …
- Encourage your kids in areas they are interested in…
- Play with your kids. You are really a big kid at heart anyway.
- Use moments of discipline as teaching moments, explaining the reason for your displeasure. Be patient to ensure they have an understanding.
If you take the time to do these things, your children will not only have a chance to grow up in a safe, loving, and understanding home. In addition, they will be more likely to duplicate patience and love with their kids as you do for them. So just remember, the next time you hear your children fighting over toys or who gets to ride in the front passenger seat when riding to ball practice. “Kids will be kids!”
