Stating the obvious, it is going to be a tough time for any parent when their child gets bad grades on a report card. If this has happened, you need to understand that your first priority should be to find out what has happened before deciding what steps to take next. It’s important for you to stay calm so that you can have a better understanding of the situation.
Another thing that you need to know is your kids. what I mean by this is is a C grade average for your kids or do they have to really try? On the other hand do you have a kid that gets As without trying? You have to have a baseline in order to know how to react.
For example I am a father of four kids and as you can assume none of them are alike and this is true for grades as well as anything else. My son can remember anything you tell him….. if he is interested. The problem with him if he wasn’t interested well he couldn’t remember to do anything. Plus he was a procrastinator who could not get alot done in a short time. My youngest daughter (besides the baby) on the other hand get A’s when she things she did bad. My older daughter on the other hand was a C to B student and she had to put in work to maintain a B average.
So I say all of that to answer the question how should parents handle a bad report card. The answer is bad compared to what? Do they usually make As and all of the sudden they are a C student or do they always make Cs and you are just tired of it. You need to get to know the kids and handle the lack of effort throughout the journey to get the report card and not handle the report card.
How should parents handle bad grades
When I say bad grades I don’t consider all grades equal. Meaning that if all three of my kids who are in school came home with all Cs I would handle them differently. My son I would probably tell good job, depending on how much push I had to give him to get his work done. My oldest daughter I would know from seeing the work through the grading period and respond based on that. If she worked hard and fought to keep her grades there I would tell her how happy I was for ho hard she worked to get though the struggles. On the other hand if I knew she was staying up to late and not focused we would discuss some type of punishment or adjustment. Usually this would have already been discussed during the period. For example if I saw her slacking off I would tell her if you don’t get your grades up and stop staying up all night playing on your phone then I will have to take the phone when your report card comes in. Then I would follow through with that until she changed her ways. With her I would have to ensure there is no other drama at school that she is letting affect her grades as well. My youngest daughter comes home with Cs then we have a problem. Someone took my kid and replaced them. So for her if I saw her grades slipping during the grading period I would address it.
The key for everyone is to pay attention. Let them know what you expect from them. Then as they get distracted during the grading period make changes then before its too late. If they know that failing grades are not acceptable they will adjust. If you wait until the report card comes in then punish them well they had a good run during the grading period. They will get their grades up until you release them then slack off again. Pay attention and deal with it as they falter not at the end.
Why parents shouldn’t care about grades
My son has been trying to explain this one to me for years. Why I should not care that he got a bad grade. The answer is you should care if your child is not putting forth the effort to do the best they can. Some kids will be A students and some C but they need to put in the effort. I use to tell my son just care a little bit and it will all come together.
It is true that you should not care about grades just based on the grade. If you kid comes home with a F or a D and they worked their tail off to get it then I wouldn’t worry about the grade. If on the other hand they are consistently working their tails off and can’t get there they may need some additional help like tutoring. On the other hand if your kid is just slacking off and not trying then you better be worried about not only the grades but about why they think it is ok to not put in the effort. If you don’t get this bad habit under control now then they are going to have a hard time in life….. which means you will also have a hard time.
Is a C+ bad in middle school, if not What is a bad grade in middle school
If you ask my wife a C is always a bad grade. My reaction is that a C means you are average and you passed. In truth there are a lot of distractions in middle school and it is defiantly a transition for them. All of the sudden the kids develop groups that your kid will or will not be included in. the athletes start having school sports to play. Now there is a real band to go play in. There is kissing, and periods, and fist fights, and real life things they will see just a little more of. There is also the stage in their life when other people are smarter then their parents…… lots of other people.
I say all of that to say yes Middle school is going to be a little different. This does not give your kids an excuses to not handle their responsibilities. This is the stage that I found to be the biggest battle. Then all of the sudden it was over and I had my kid back again. the only thing I can tell you is establish what is expected before middle school age and keep holding them to that standard. Then in a few long years you will have your kid back
Conclusion
The first thing you need to do is figure out what went wrong with your child’s report card, and that will determine the course of action to take next. It can help for you stay calm so that you have a better understanding of their situation. Keep in mind that not all grades are created equally; sometimes there are extenuating circumstances like if they were sick or missed school due to family emergencies. As a parent, it is important for you to establish expectations before middle-school age and keep holding them accountable as they get older—it won’t always be easy!
