As a dad of four, I have learned one thing above all others. It is easy to parent when you are outside looking in. This goes for all the friends who have no kids trying to tell you what you should do and even to the dads like me when I’m on the outside of the chaos looking in. My wife is yelling my kids are driving me crazy and I try to fix my wife instead of the chaos. I say something stupid like baby why are you overreacting……. then I get to see some real reaction and the kids are all of a sudden quiet in their rooms while mom lets me know what she thinks of my help. If this sounds familiar I have added some steps below to help you in this adventure.
It Helps to Have Team
Go back to what I was saying above when I tried to fix my wife. What I have realized over time is that kids will wear your nerves out. You are trying to get stuff done and they decide that is the time they need attention. You try for a while to juggle their needs and what you are trying to do but over time you start to get stressed. Right before you start to lose it, it’s time to tag your partner in.
When I hear my wives voice getting loud and her saying things that just feel like they maybe she needs help I need to step in and distract some kids. You know the kind of things parents say when they are stressed, “What the hell are you doing”, “can you please just stop”, “you are grounded for life”, or “these dang kids are driving me crazy”. You can add your own favorite words in there but you get the idea.
This needs to be something you talk about with your spouse. I know I keep saying my wife but I too will say I get stressed and start to lose my cool sometimes. I am grateful when my wife steps in and lets me know I am being a little short. Then saves me for a few minutes so I can gather myself. On the other hand sometimes she just tells me I need to stop being so short…..and then I just get short. So if anything remember to be a team and not just try to fix each other.
If you are looking for some tips on teams in marriage please check out our post on it HERE.
Why does my child drive me crazy?
To me this one is very easy, my child drives me crazy because they are little geniuses. They can feel when I am at the point of breaking from everything that happen during the day. Right when I am at the point they hit me right in the face with either a literal toy or with just a ton of loud crazy chaos. Either way I lose it and the battle begins. Another way I notice that they get me is I expect one things so they give me not only the opposite but they also give me the look like why would you expect anything else?
What to do when your child is driving you crazy?
The first thing you need to do is get away from the chaos for a minute. Depending on the ag of the child this can be easy are hard. Right now I tell my teenagers to give me a minute and they understand that dad is about to pop his top. So I get away for a few, clear my head and come back into it controlled. On the other hand if you have a small child who wont understand why mom or dad is trying to walk away well a team helps. Tell your spouse hey I need ten minutes, this works way better then pulling them into it and both of you getting stressed out. If you don’t have that option then you need to take a moment and understand that this too will pass. Stay as calm as you can by accepting your house will be in chaos for a few years and try to enjoy this short time in their lives.
How do you not let your kids stress you out?
So how do you go from my kids are driving me crazy to a place where you are a calm parent that everyone is wondering, how do they do it. The first peace of advice I have learned over the years is that your kids do not control your mood. You are in control of everything mentally and physically. Stress is caused by many factors including kids but also in this list can be things like a lack of sleep, bad diet, finance trouble, changes in routine, etc. One of the main things I have found is when I don’t take care of myself with good sleep and diet I will have a much shorter fuse then when I am taking the time to care for myself.
How do you get kids to stop annoying you?
When my kids are driving me crazy I can usually tie it to that evil boredom monster that my kids tell me about. I have never had the pleasure of meeting him myself because I’m to busy dealing with life. I was told once by a good friend of mine that boredom leads to inspiration. I am still waiting for that to take root in my kids but hey anything is possible. Instead of waiting for it I try to make sure they are to busy to be bored. When they start annoying me I start giving them things to do. I also try to make sure that they have something like a sports team at down times like summertime to keep them busy and tired. I’m not sure how you feel about sports or the area you are in, but the swim team is great. Kids go to practice everyday at 9am. By the time they get home they are ready to relax.
Warning About Teenage Years
No matter how loving and kind your child is beware that the teenage years will turn them into something else. They go through some crazy changes and become this moody, unhappy, little attitude at all times. Even when they are doing something they love to do it’s like they are being forced. The only advice I can give is to stay involved even though they will try so hard to act like they don’t want you there. Force them to keep doing things they love. Try to let them express themselves even though it will be hard. The key to remember is that these years will pass about as fast as it took to go from diapers to potty training. So it will feel like forever but it will be over soon and you will have your kids back soon enough.
Conclusion
If you are sitting there wondering why my kids are driving me crazy the first thing you need to realize is that you are not alone. There is a reason that all your married friends couldn’t wait until you had kids too. Its like we are in the crazy club and want everyone we know to join the fun. I’m just joking raising kids is great even when they make you lose your cool.
Now that you are in the club of being a parent make sure you stay important. Take care of yourself. Its hard because the work builds up and there is only so much time in the day. Thought there is more time usually that you are not using efficiently enough. The hour you spend on your phone because it helps you unwind maybe better spent sleeping. Instead of turning the TV on at night when they kids are finally in bed, leave it off. Wake up an hour or 2 before your kids to knock out the work you had planned for the day. This way you will get it done and then have time for the little ones.
My final tip from a parent of four is take minute to enjoy it. Before you know it your baby is graduating. It goes by fast and you look back fondly remembering the times when they where stressing you out as little ones. Its hard to realize it while you are in it, but its some of the greatest times in your life. Forget about the little things that you can never catch up on sometimes and just play.
